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As you may have figured by now, there hasn’t been much going on here at Casa de Looneytunes. Basically, it’s been all about angst, medication, pain, hiding from the worry and reality shows. Reality shows really are a blessing for those times when your mental acuity is significantly lower than normal. And speaking of the angst, I’m sick to death of thinking about it and writing about it, but unfortunately, that means the options for an interesting post are thin on the ground. Which means what? You guessed it! Reality shows. I know, I know – not the most intriguing of topics (well, for some), but I’m sure if we try hard, we can work up a good head of steam about complete strangers and their inane shenanigans. And so, in alphabetical order, let’s get opinionated about the remaining contestants.

American Idol. So, let me get this straight – you travel around a huge country, audition thousands of people and yet somehow, manage to end up with a disproportionate number of finalists who essentially can’t carry a tune? What is wrong with you? When you look at the final 12 – hell, even the final 24 – there were a nice bunch of women who could sing, but the guys? Ridiculous. Yet, somehow I’ve managed to spend every Tuesday evening in their company. Which I consider even more ridiculous. However, there have been a few moments that made me glad I did and one of them was Blake’s version of You Give Love a Bad Name” by Bon Jovi. Innovative (in the context of AI) and electrifying (also within same context). The so-called controversy about his use of a computer program to put together his beat boxing is pissing me off. Aside from the fact that this type of music naturally lends itself to that, the argument that it’s not “authentic artistry” is crap – it’s not like he lets the computer do all the work. Besides, I use a photoediting program for my pictures – does that mean I’m cheating? I’m using not one, but two computer programs to write (Word and Dragon) – does that mean my “artistry” isn’t “authetic”? Anyway, I’m pretty sure it’ll be Blake and Jordin in the finals, but ya never know with this show.

The Bachelor. And I call myself a feminist? I tuned in for the trainwreck (and boy, there’ve been some doozies), managed to get someone else hooked on it – although I will leave it to them to out themselves or not in the comment box, I will quote her surprised statement that “it’s very relaxing!” – and was charmed by watching two people actually start to fall for each other and I guess that’s the moment you hope for on this show. I’m willing to bet anything that Tessa will be the one with the ring at the end and oddly, am kind of invested. I’d prefer the mocking to be minimal, thank you, as you won’t be saying anything I haven’t said to myself.

Dancing With the Stars. This show still makes me happier than anything else on television, although compared to the past three seasons, number 4 hasn’t been as great (the music choices are ridiculously inappropriate). I thoroughly enjoyed Billy Ray Cyrus – he has been, as Bruno said earlier this week, “deliciously awful”, but it was time for the “bear in the swamp” (another Bruno classic) to go home. Ian Ziering… I really want to like him more – he tries so hard, is technically good and has been stuck with a very cold Cheryl, which has to affect performance in what’s very much a team sport, but I tend to forget his dances. Although he can be very entertaining and dances very well, Joey Fatone irritates me – his antics often leaves me wishing for a tranquilizer gun. My two favourites are Laila and Apolo. Laila Ali is astonishingly wonderful – a good dancer who gives everything she has and the difference between her ferocity in boxing and the style and elegance in dancing? Wow. I especially love watching her professional partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy with her – he’s always been so intense and… well, Russian, but having a strong partner who’s his equal has brought out his goofy side. I never knew he had such a sense of humour and have become quite taken with him. Apolo also brings the athlete’s commitment and intensity to the competition and he’s fantastic. His professional partner Julianne Hough blows me away – she’s 18 years old! – and her choreography is incredible (my favourite is their samba). As usual, the judges add immeasurably to the show – for a perfect example of why I love these guys, check at about 4min at this clip. Now, that’s passion! And p.s. some idiot gave them Jessie’s Girl for a tango. What can you do with that? Alas, I miss Louis, who’s only doing exhibition dances on the results show. Dude’s got the fastest legs in the known universe and is always a joy to watch.

Survivor. A boring season that picked up to become great, then simmered to good. I am madly in love with Yau-Man – a middle-aged, skinny weakling and proud nerd who kicks arse by using his head better than all of the young studs combined. Who knew that someone like that would become a power player (did you see his brilliant strategic moves last night??)? Earl is pretty damn cool, too, although he’s starting to become a smidge arrogant about his dominance – not a good move, Earl! Dreamz is… erm, odd? Completely random, can’t keep his mouth shut, changes his game based on what the last person said to him, usually easily manipulated, occasionally shows flashes of brilliance (his takedown of Lisi at Tribal Council, followed by “I’m ready to vote, Jeff!” was awesome). Stacey never got over her sense of entitlement, Boo appears to be a few sandwiches short of a picnic, then every now and again is really smart – it’s very confusing, but mainly, I just like to look at him. He’s cute in a caveman sort of way. And Cassandra? Ninja! Quietly operating in stealthmode, she’s gone from sharkbait to might-just-take-it-all purely by playing the social game like a master. But still… Yau to the end!

The Amazing Race. Got another staunch anti-reality show fanatic hooked! My work here is so done… I’ve had my issues with this season – among them who won; I loathed Eric and Dani, whose boobs, I swear, grew every episode and which she flaunted in all kinds of countries that have different standards of modesty. Could you be more offensive, woman? – um… where was I? Oh, yes! The Beauty Queens won me over with their skill and good attitude, loved Cha Cha Cha again – I want them to move to Toronto so we can hang – and much as Mirna pissed me off, towards the end, I started to realize that underneath all her sanctimonious bullshit, she might be a very funny person (who knew the accents were on purpose?). It’s all in the editing. Charla provided classic television (a faceplant in a suit of armour – does it get any better than that?), yet showed a determination and sports(wo)manship unparalled in reality TV. Sure, the challenges were incredibly easy compared to previous seasons (c’mon! These are the All-Stars! Challenge them!!), but overall, I had a good time. Until Eric and Dani won.

Feel free to obsess in the comment box.