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If you noticed a dark, sulphurous cloud hovering over downtown Toronto last night, that was me using a lot of colourful words in at least two languages.

You don’t get to be this pleased with yourself without walking up Nemesis, who’ll arrive swiftly and smack you down for your effrontery.

That malware I had? I might have gotten rid of it, but before I kicked out its pustulent arse, it left – insert tone of contemptuous disgust here and if you can manage a hiss, that’d be good, too – spawn. Which proceeds to wave about madly every time I surf the net, hollering “yoo-hoo, over here! Them’s good pickings over here!”, thus attracting a bunch of its equally pestilent buddies, that swarm to the buffet that (apparently) is my computer and snack delightedly. I believe I’ve reached the point where the ‘idiot’ part of ‘idiot savant’ takes over and I’ll be bailing water (i.e., doing endless and continuous SpyBot checks) until help arrives.