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It’s natural to have questions about your rheumatoid arthritis. In my new column for HealthCentral, I explain why those nagging questions you have for your doctor (or yourself) are worth asking out loud:

“WHY? IF YOU have children, chances are that word starts a little twitch around your left eye. It’s the favorite word of toddlers everywhere, seemingly punctuating every breath as they discover the world around them, while parents try to answer over and over again without losing their patience. Some in my family argue that I have never grown out of that stage, at least as it pertains to asking ‘why’ about simply everything (good news: I am potty trained!). This desire to know the reason behind things got worse (better?) after I developed rheumatoid arthritis (RA). Living with the frequent changes that come with a lifelong chronic condition like RA can make you feel profoundly helpless, but perhaps this simple little word could change that. In this column I’ll dive deeper into how questions, especially the famous ‘why,’ can help you create a better life with RA.

Asking questions during medical appointments isn’t always easy. Our society still carries the historical belief that doctors are close to God-like and therefore know best. For most of us, questioning authority is a learned skill and when you have a chronic illness, feeling better depends on having access to someone in authority. It can take quite a while to connect to the fact that your rheumatologist is an expert in treating arthritis, but you are an expert in how RA affects you. Putting these two experts together as a team is often the way to creating a better experience for both of you.

Other factors that make it difficult to ask questions include time and access to your doctor. Medical appointments tend to be rather short and once you and the doctor have covered symptoms, the physical exam, and reviewed tests and prescriptions, there’s not a lot of time left for conversation. One way to have time for that vital discussion is to come prepared with a list of questions or, if possible, booking a double appointment. It’s also important to remember that you can talk to your doctor in between appointments. Physicians are increasingly offering the option of email contact for them, a nurse practitioner, or rheumatology nurse when questions come up in between appointments. Remember that your medical team works for you, not the other way around. It’s OK to ask for the space you need to talk about what you want to know.”

Read my column about how asking ‘why’ can help you create the life you want with RA on HealthCentral.