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Failing on your New Year’s resolutions within a few weeks is normal for anyone, but when you have a chronic illness, life is already overwhelming enough. Why add another thing that makes you feel bad?

One year ago, I decided to not make a resolution. Instead, I created a way to gradually create change was gentle, flexible, and reflected what I really wanted. I called it #3Things.

Because sometimes, I’m really obvious.

One year later, I drink more water, regularly make green smoothies, eat a healthier diet, have de-cluttered and organized my home so it feels calm and peaceful, realized that meditation is not my bag, and that there are other ways to get the same result, did my taxes on time, released the Chronic Christmas audiobook, learned to be more gentle with myself, became more aware when I should say ‘no,‘ and realized I am much more likely to do something if it’s fun.

Let me show you how easy it is.

Get ready for lasting change: download the #3Things tracking tool for free!

First: say no to resolutions

Most New Year’s resolutions fail fairly quickly. So much so that there is an actual Ditch Your Resolutions Day on January 17. Seems like there’s something wrong with the concept, doesn’t it?

I believe resolutions fail for three reasons. One, they tend to reflect what we think we should do, rather than we want to do. Second, there too big and too vague. And third, they usually aren’t fun.

Second: say yes to joy

Being an adult is often not very fun. Being an adult with chronic illness ups the ante on that. When you have done all the chores and tasks involved in maintaining life for yourself and your family, there’s often very little time and energy left for anything else. Somehow, the stuff that feeds our souls have become optional. What if you could find a way to prioritize feeding your soul?

But it’s more than that. Those necessary chores have become negative, something to procrastinate on, to stress over, to get in the way. What if the big task were broken down into smaller parts that could build success on success, making you feel accomplished and happier?

#3Things can do that.

How #3Things works

Every month you select one to three small and specific things you could do to explore doing something that would address an issue or a wish. Choose one for the body, one for the soul, and one in a hodgepodge category, usually related to life maintenance. Then build in some fun.

Making at least one choice every month that feeds your soul will help you prioritize welcoming happiness into your life. It could be making time for a hobby, practicing gratitude, or taking 20 minutes to yourself each morning to do the crossword. During months when you need to do one of those aggravating tasks, simply chipping away at it, bit by bit, will help you get there and bring you joy. For instance, making a choice to gradually organize and doing your taxes during March, will make you very happy when you send them in early, before the April deadline.

You can track your choices and your progress in an app or spreadsheet, but for some reason, I just can’t stick to those methods. So I designed a form with three shapes — one for each goal — and put funny little stickers on each shape as I do my things.

Want to try my system? Download the 2020 #3Things tracking sheets for free!

If one of your choices doesn’t work, there is no shame or failure in it. Instead, it can be a realization that sometimes you have to try something in order to find out if it’s right for you — or right for you at this time. Simply adjust the goal or pick something entirely new the next month.

As well, there is no pressure to choose three things. If you are physically or mentally exhausted, maybe just one thing will give you motivation to cope with other challenges.

#3Things is a community

If you are already struggling with a goal or resolution, why not ditch it entirely and join the #3Things community? The buddy system also enhances your chances at success.

On the first Thursday of the month, I do a live broadcast on my Facebook page where the community gets together to pick the month’s goals, talk about lessons from the previous month, as well as share tips. It’s an opportunity for friends to hang out, support each other, stay accountable, and learn from one another. Every Saturday morning (sometimes afternoon), I publish a post on my Facebook page with the weekly check-in.

There is no pressure to participate, but it’s there if you want to play along. All you need is a wish for change, a promise to be gentle with yourself, and a way to track it. If you’re like me and need to make things fun, download the #3Things tracking tool, get yourself some cheap stickers, and join us!