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Let’s pull no punches: living with rheumatoid arthritis is really difficult. Figuring out how to create a good life nonetheless requires a lot of coping skills. In my new column for HealthCentral, I share what works for me.

“Gratitude. It’s a lovely concept, trotted out for the Thanksgiving table and inspiring Instagram posts in beautiful swirly fonts, but is real gratitude possible when you live with rheumatoid arthritis (RA)? You bet! And there’s more: Practicing gratitude may actually help you live better with your chronic illness. Getting there is little more complicated than your fairy godparents waving a magic wand, but not by much. By the end of this article you will have all the tools you need to make real gratitude part of your life.

In case you’re feeling dubious, let me assure you I am not just talking out of my rear end. The research indicates that feeling positive can boost your overall health, reducing your blood pressure and inflammatory markers, as well as leading to better quality of life for people with chronic illness. A study in the journal Health Psychology specifically showed that using gratitude as a coping technique leads to less incidence of depression in people living with arthritis and inflammatory bowel disease. By no means is this suggesting that plastering a smile on your face and soldiering on will cure what ails you. But it is legit support for the concept that deliberately choosing to look for what’s positive and joyful has a direct effect on your mood and ability to cope with pain and illness.

Before I ever looked at an actual study, I experienced the benefits of incorporating gratitude first-hand in my own life. When I was still living with my parents and our family was going through hard times, I was inspired to try a Thanksgiving ritual seen in movies: The one where you go around the table, and each person shares one good thing they noticed that day. It wasn’t until many years later, when I had to rebuild my life from a devastating RA flare, that I fine-tuned that idea into a daily practice. It is now a vital tool in combating the frustration and depression that so often accompany my RA and chronic pain, and it helps me create a life of authentic positivity and joy.”

Read my column on gratitude and learn tips on how to use it to live well with RA on HealthCentral.