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It’s hard to find the line between joyful holiday bustle and a stressful mess that sends you reeling into a post-holiday rheumatoid arthritis flare (or a pre-holiday or joining-the-holidays). Throwing out traditions that don’t work for you anymore is a good place to start. In my new column for HealthCentral, I share five ways to create new traditions that will help you love the season without the pain:

“TRADITIONS ARE MEANINGFUL. They connect us to the past and contribute to lovely memories as we re-create the magic of the holidays every year. But traditions can also stifle growth, preventing us from shifting into a version of celebrating that might work better for you and everyone around you. And when you have rheumatoid arthritis (RA) tinkering with traditional holiday customs can be a necessity—the very thing that enables you to participate and enjoy without ending up in the traditional post-holiday flare.

If the thought of changing your traditions makes you feel anxious, try to remember that you have adapted to other changes in the past as children or partners are added to a family and later, as the next generation takes over the hosting. Try to see changes that accommodate your RA as just another life event that requires a shift, rather than a wholescale revolution. These five holiday tweaks inspired by my book Chronic Christmas: Surviving the Holidays with Chronic Illness can help you revel in the season without paying the price.

Make Joy—Not Tradition—Your Priority

You may not be using Marie Kondo’s minimalist approach to decluttering your home, but you can adopt it for sorting out your holiday season. Leading with the question “does it bring me joy?” can help you say no to the tasks and events that feel obligatory, but not enjoyable.”

Read my HealthCentral column on creating new traditions that work for your RA.