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What do you remember from past Christmases — the times everything went according to plan, or the moments when imperfection snuck into the celebrations?

We work so hard to make the holidays perfect, but that’s not what makes for enduring family legends. One of my favourite memories was the year when the tree slowly, but inexorably started tilting and eventually fell over. In the end, we got it back upright, but only with the help of several ropes tying it to the more solid pieces of furniture.

//giphy.com/embed/BKvWlrGcKhR9Cvia GIPHY

Another of my favourite Christmas traditions is that moment at dinner when my mother criticizes some element of the meal (which she has always made perfect, so we’re not quite sure why it needs criticizing), or talks about perhaps forgetting the napkins. This is the moment when my sister and I will intone in unison “you f*cked up again, mom,” and everyone falls about laughing. I have forgotten the event that started this tradition, but it is quintessentially my family at Christmas.

Open up. And when disaster hits — and it will, because life’s like that — just laugh. Carve out special moments to sit down next to each other, and immerse yourself in the story and the memories. Tell and retell the story until it is part of the fabric that holds you all together.

Do you have a story of when disaster hit your Christmas that’s become part of your family legends?

#ChronicChristmas is an Advent calendar of tips for a sane holiday season with a chronic illness. Check back tomorrow for the next tip. To see all the posts in the series, click the #ChronicChristmas label below this post.