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Description: An hourglass on a beach, right by the surf. Image has the number 9 is a circle and the hashtag #ChronicChristmas

This is my daily Advent calendar of gift ideas for people with chronic illness, running from December 1-25. Some entries will contain affiliate links.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with spending some time thinking of your friend or family member, buying a carefully selected gift, and finding some beautiful wrapping (that’s also easy to open).

But there is a gift that they may very well need the most of all, a gift that costs nothing. Except time.

And that’s you. And your time.

When you have a chronic illness, there is so much of life and preparation for a big event like the holidays that you don’t get done. Maybe you don’t have the energy, maybe it will hurt too much, maybe the multitude of tasks is so overwhelming that you just don’t get there. And asking for help seemed just as overwhelming, as well — you might already feel like you lean too heavily on others, or that you would be a burden if you asked.

So, don’t wait for them to ask.

Give this person a call and tell them you are dedicating time to help them get ready for the big day at some point between today and whenever they need to get things done. It can be a couple of hours, an afternoon, or maybe even a full day.

This is time in which they decide what you do — clean the house, decorate the tree, bake cookies, buy presents, wrap presents. Anything that needs doing and which they may have trouble doing themselves. Or which would save them time and energy, so they can do all the other multiple things tasks that need doing before the holidays.

Assume you’ll have to fight them a bit for this — see above regarding leaning, burdens, and associated guilt. Persevere. Bulldoze (gently and lovingly), if necessary.

The gift of help is the most meaningful of all.