From Helplessness to Hope with Chronic Illness: 5 Strategies to Push Back Depression
I had a rough entry into the holidays. The fates conspired to send me a number of events over which I had little control. On top of already existing stress, plus having slammed it into overdrive to prepare for the holidays, my body (and mind) had had enough.
So I got sick. Or rather, I got that thing that I always get whenever I have burned the candle in both ends and the middle, plus added emotional stress to the concoction. I slept for three days and when I woke up on day four, I knew I wasn’t sick anymore. In its place, however, was a charcoal cloud of depression, descending ever lower.
Now, I know this cloud. I lived under it for many years, but it’s been a long time since I last had this feeling. I knew that if I didn’t do something, I could be lost for quite a while. I knew that I was on the cusp, still able to push back, but I had to act quickly.
Disclaimer: I am by no means saying that depression can be cured by the powers of your mind. That is as ridiculous as saying that rheumatoid arthritis can be cured this way. However, helplessness can be a factor in developing depression. This is certainly something I’ve experienced over and over again. And somewhere along, I learned strategies to push back and give myself a sense of control. To find a way to hope, which is — for me — the antithesis of depression.
This is what I did:
Acknowledged what was happening. Depression is a sneaky thing. While you are busy trying to control what you can’t, it tip-toes in and takes hold without you noticing. So I looked at this scary thing that was about to take over. And then I visualized myself turning away from the darkness and walking towards light. And I said out loud:
I am not going there.
I am choosing to walk away from the darkness.
I’m choosing light.
I am choosing life.
Reached out. I called a friend who I could talk to about what was happening. Someone who has known me for a long time, someone who is a very good listener. And then I called another friend who is very good at making me laugh.
I shared my strategies on the January #AskLene, embedded here. My book, Your Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis: Tools for Managing Treatment, Side Effects and Pain
Tapped into my creativity. I took a walk, because in some level, I am convinced that fresh air and nature will cure a lot (not chronic illness, but many other things). I brought my camera, deciding that I was going to find something good to photograph. Being outside with my camera opens me up and makes me happy.
Looked towards the future. Next, I wrote a chapter in the new book I’m working on. It wasn’t a good chapter, but I wrote one. Helplessness and depression keeps you stuck in an awful present, one that feels as if you cannot ever escape. Taking action that looks towards the future is the enemy of being stuck.
Sought comfort. I wanted to give my mind and body something nice to focus on. So I bought a book I’d had my eye on and next, there might’ve been chocolate. That cozy feeling you get you are extra nice to yourself can be a comfort when your mind is hurting.
These strategies worked for me, but not instantaneously. I am still being careful about walking towards the light, making sure to incorporate comfort, and doing something related to the future as part of my daily plans.
Tag: creativity, depression, Facebook, friendship, health, helplessness, hope, mental, selfcare, strategies
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Lene,
I say it many times a year. These feelings of depression have always passed, and they always will.
True. And the more times they do, the better you get at processing what’s going on so they’ll pass faster.
Thanks Lene, I really needed this…
Sorry you’re having a rough time. Please let me know if I can help – you can send me an email through the Contact tab. Please be good to yourself. <3
so glad you saw it at the right moment.
Excellent ways to deal with depression. Focusing on “the light” as you said is important. I wish you well.
Thanks for that, Vincent. And for the comment!
These are great ideas for people even without depression, but it’s always helpful to know tried and true ways to help you get out of a funk or a depression phase. Doing too much always gets me sick as well, so I try to schedule “me” time when I know I need it.
It’s so important to realize that moments when you so have a choice to stop and give your body the rest it is asking for. If you blast through that, it’s going to make you sit still. And likely call you nasty names in the process. Deserved nasty names. (My body and I have finally started working together 🙂 )
You are spot on… Helplessness held me prisoner for many years before I learned how to push back and get free!
That is a key moment, isn’t it? That moment when you realize that although you think you can’t do anything, you’re going to try. Because the alternative is so heartbreaking. So glad to hear that you found your way out!
Seeking help and comfort is so important to getting through a tough time.
it sure is. Especially when some part of you tries to tell you that no one will help. Never believe that voice!
The moment when I recognize that depression is setting in is the moment that I make the choice to fight back. Recognizing the problem is half the battle. Because as you said, depression is a very sneaky thing.
That’s exactly it. Because it can completely overwhelm you and blot out your life before you realize what happened. But in depression, as in so many other things in life, realizing what is going on is that first step to fighting it.
I think these are such positive management techniques for depression – thank you for sharing.
Appreciate you reading and commenting!
This is some very helpful advice for managing depression. It sometimes just begins to sneak up on you and I agree that immersing yourself in creativity and speaking to someone can be a huge help.
Is that sneakiness that is one of the hardest things about depression. Because sometimes you don’t realize that you’re in it until it is completely surrounding you.
Thank you for sharing this.
I’ve never considered myself a “creative” but starting a blog and doing things that required mental work and creativity really helped pull me up from the depths. Again, thanks for sharing.
So glad to hear that you found a road out of the darkness. And I hope your memories of Paris will help, as well.
This post is so honest and open, I love what you have written here. Depression sometimes can feel like an impossible thing and finding small ways to cope and make ourselves feel even a little bit better is always a step in the right direction. Walking, and being outdoors always helps me too.
When things seemed overwhelming and insurmountable, it’s those baby steps that help us find the road back. Wishing you well.
These are great tips! When I got pregnant I stopped taking my antidepressant medication, and I was okay for the first half of my pregnancy. Then I did what you did and burned the candle at both ends and in the middle. However, I ignored the depression sneaking up on me and it got really bad before I acknowledged that I needed to do something about it.
Chronic illness, whether physical or mental, requires such a high level of vigilance and discipline. It’s bloody exhausting. Hope you’re doing better now?
This is wonderfully written piece on such a sensitive yet important issue. Chronic illness made me helpless too , until I decided that I am not my illness and my condition must not define me. Thanks for the beautiful post
That’s such a crucial way of getting to a place when you live better with chronic illness. To finally realize that chronic illness is part of what you are, but it has nothing to do with who you are. Wishing you well.
Thank you for writing and posting this! Chronic Illness isn’t an easy trip for anyone and it requires a lot
of dedication and hard work! To start, if your unhappy, depressed, or guilty about any of these pressures, then get help before you spiral out of control and go into a total depression. Anyone who has been diagnosed with a Chronic Illness knows it’s a very long process to get used to, learn to survive, and relearn how to love and respect ourselves.
Hat’s off to any author or other supporter of Chronic Illness. No matter how you support, it’s helping others survive and learn to reprocess our new way of life! We can learn to be happy again…
So, never give up, keep on going, ask for help. If one doctor doesn’t treat you right, go onto the next. Read books and other sources of
Information that relates to your illness.
Thanks again,
Bonnie R.
Thanks for sharing your comment, both here and on Facebook. i really appreciate your feedback.
My boyfriend is diagnosed with major depression. It’s a daily struggle for everyone in our family. I’m going to forward this to him because I think it is something that would be really helpful to him!
I do hope that these tips will be useful for your boyfriend — I think, especially, if it’s something you can do together. That said, I also hope that he has medical help and ideally therapy. My little tips will not do much, I think, without major help elsewhere. Wishing you all the best.
“I am choosing light, I am choosing life” – this piece speaks to me on so many levels, I can’t begin to describe. Hope you don’t mind I have shared it on my regular PainPalsBlog feature “Monday Magic – Inspiring Blogs for You!” Claire x
So happy to hear that this reached you when you needed it. And of course you can share! Thank so much.
So grateful to read this right now, in this early morning light, when I am ruminating over a painful stuck situation. This gave me hope and light. I am on the road with new thinking, new friends. Life. Thank you for being you. Grateful
And I am so very grateful that these were the right words for the right time. Light and life and only forward.