How to Set (and Respect) Boundaries Live to Better with Chronic Illness
Boundaries can be an important part of mental health and when you have a chronic illness, they are an essential tool to maintain your physical health. But what are boundaries, exactly, and how can they help you create a better life with chronic illness and pain? In this post, I share some of my insights…
5 Platitudes That Don’t Help Me Live Better With RA
When people don’t know what to say about your rheumatoid arthritis, they often rely on old adages or platitudes. The problem is, none of these actually help you feel supported and they are hardly ever useful. In this column for HealthCentral, I pick apart five platitudes that don’t help and suggest alternatives: “EVEN THE MOST introverted…
Is it OK to Dump Someone Because of Their Medical Condition? Why the New York Times Got It Wrong (and It’s Not What You Think)
“I just can’t handle it.” I’d bet the majority of people who have a chronic illness or disability have had that conversation when dating. That is, if you’re lucky. There are also the infinite number of times when you’re just ghosted — the person just disappears as if exorcised from your life. Earlier this week,…
Chronic Illness Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Contribute
I can’t work, so I feel like a deadweight in my marriage. We used to do active things together and now we can’t. I worry that it’ll end our relationship. I see these comments all the time as I talk to others in the chronic illness community. When you can no longer do everything you…
Thoughts on Guilt and Rheumatoid Arthritis
Guilt and rheumatoid arthritis (RA) go hand-in-hand. It goes something like this: You made plans. Sometimes big plans, sometimes small. Then you wake up to a day when your RA has decided to be extra — extra painful, extra flare-y, extra getting in the way of your life — and there’s only one thing to…
#AskLene July 2018
This month on the #AskLene Facebook Live, I talked about disability benefits — what’s good about them, what isn’t, and what it takes to qualify — as well as what to do when people don’t believe you have a chronic illness.
Build a Good Relationship with Your Doctor
When you have a chronic illness, your doctor is one of the most important people in your life.When you find a good one, they’ll be with you for years, even decades, sometimes more than other relationships. My new post for Mango Health shares tips on how to build a good relationship with you doctor: “If…
Oh, Brother: Disability and Romance
Updated June 14, 2020 “Is that your brother?” We get this all the time, The Boy and I and I don’t know why, except that we are both somewhat rounded and wear glasses. Well, that’s not actually true, because I do know why. It’s because able-bodied men don’t date women in wheelchairs. To be even…