Is it OK to Dump Someone Because of Their Medical Condition? Why the New York Times Got It Wrong (and It’s Not What You Think)
“I just can’t handle it.” I’d bet the majority of people who have a chronic illness or disability have had that conversation when dating. That is, if you’re lucky. There are also the infinite number of times when you’re just ghosted — the person just disappears as if exorcised from your life. Earlier this week,…
Sisters, Friends, and Sister-Friends
I used to think that friendship was built in person. The internet taught me differently when it gifted me my tribe of a chronic illness community. In my tribe the, the wise woman is Cathy Kramer. Cathy and I met ten or so years ago, when she started writing for HealthCentral, and we kept being…
The Healing Touch: How My Mother Took Away My Pain When Nothing Else Could
“That pain you had… For a mother to see a child with that kind of pain, is so terrible.” — My mom, Birthe Andersen I have had juvenile arthritis since I was four years old, which means this condition and I recently celebrated (?) 50 years together. For most of that time, there were no…
Cherry Jelly and Other Christmas Disasters
It all started with the cherries. Photo by Janne Andersen We should have known this was an omen. Instead, we saw it as the perfect opportunity to say “you f*cked up again, mom,” laugh, and move on. Until it was time to make the ris a la mande. Which is not supposed to be mushy,…
A Very Special Anniversary Gift
Heaven preserve us from really good doctors… What am I going on about, you ask? Isn’t having a good doctor a good thing? Well, most of the time it is. But sometimes meeting a good doctor who doesn’t know you can lead to situations that can best be described as “interesting.” Those of you who’ve…
4 Years
Photo by Janne / TinkMama Four years ago today, The Boy and I finally realized what had been blatantly obvious to everyone else for several months: that we belong together. It was the best decision I’ve ever made— every day since has been filled with love and laughter. David is everything I’ve ever dreamed of…
Perfect Birthday Wishes
Today is this handsome man’s birthday This quote by modern philosopher Slavoj Žižek in the movie Examined Life resonates with both of us “Love is not idealization. A true Lover knows that if you really love a woman or a man, that you do not idealize him or her. Loves means that you accept a person,…
Silent Poetry Reading: for Claire
Updated November 10,2021 Every year (more or less) on this day, I participate in the Bloggers Silent Poetry Reading on the Feast of St. Brigid. I’ve never been able to find out how it originated, but went with the flow of what I saw around me, posting poems I liked. I’ve posted an ode to…
Oh, Brother: Disability and Romance
Updated June 14, 2020 “Is that your brother?” We get this all the time, The Boy and I and I don’t know why, except that we are both somewhat rounded and wear glasses. Well, that’s not actually true, because I do know why. It’s because able-bodied men don’t date women in wheelchairs. To be even…
Great Lovers
Abelard and Heloise. Antony and Cleopatra. Tristan and Iseult. Cyrano and Roxane. Victoria and Albert. Wait… am I the only one who heard that screeching brakes sound of a needle scratching on a record? Whether historical or fictional, lists of the great lovers of our world don’t include Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. I certainly…